i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
