Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
where am i from again
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
