so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
