i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Come share oat with me in your robe
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
