There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
