I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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