Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
