You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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