you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
