i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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