tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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