Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
