I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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