Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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