The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
