I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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