can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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