I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
