Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
