god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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