Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
