Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
