im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
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You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
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I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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