I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
