Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
