I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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