chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.