Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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  (248): She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA http://tfl.nu/jnsa
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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  (703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts http://tfl.nu/gdmu
  Replies (13) Good night (2494) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (611) Bad night (6665) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'

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  (847): just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame' http://tfl.nu/un7j
  Replies (16) Good night (3797) Bad night (3892) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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  (315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6
  Replies (15) Good night (980) Bad night (3775) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.

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  (706): I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable. http://tfl.nu/ug12
  Replies (3) Good night (1268) Bad night (699)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described

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  (405): Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described http://tfl.nu/ywvl
  Replies (7) Good night (1662) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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  (512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc
  Replies (9) Good night (1414) Bad night (852)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.

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  (705): Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding. http://tfl.nu/zvb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1496) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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  (814): I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls? http://tfl.nu/unf7
  Replies (8) Good night (1540) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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  (937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9
  Replies (22) Good night (1346) Bad night (1813) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.

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  (860): So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled. http://tfl.nu/ouz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1780) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

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  (425): Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios? http://tfl.nu/2jhx
  Replies (12) Good night (382) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.

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  (920): I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months. http://tfl.nu/4vnx
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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  (541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt

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