Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
