dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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