You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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