We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
