My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
