Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
