You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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