I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize