I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
