? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
