That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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