I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
