I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
