i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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