If i come over, it means nothing
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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