I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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