triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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