hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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