I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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