It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
