Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
