When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
