And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
