you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
