so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
