I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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