I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
as a side note pls kill me
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