he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
