Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
