is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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