yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
