So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
