ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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